Choosing Joy in the Mess: Why We Focus on the Bright Side (Even When It's Hard)

At Lemon Cake, we talk a lot about joy. About finding the sweet spots in the middle of medical chaos. About reframing hard moments and holding tightly to hope. We write about it, we speak on it, and we try to live it daily. But we want to take a moment to pause and say something really important: we know life is hard.

We know there are days that break you.

We’ve lived in hospital rooms.

We’ve cried in parking lots.

We’ve missed parties and milestones and sleep—and watched our children endure things no child should ever have to.

So no, we’re not here to sprinkle glitter on grief or put a bow on burnout. We are not offering “good vibes only.” That’s not what this is.

What we are offering is something a little messier, a little grittier, and a lot more real: the choice to find light anyway.

The Balance: Hope and Honesty

There’s a strange tension in this world of medically complex parenting. If you talk too much about the hard stuff, people call it complaining. If you share the good, people think you’re minimizing. And sometimes even we, as parents in the thick of it, feel stuck in that same trap—where either we drown in the heartbreak, or feel guilty for celebrating the wins.

We want to make space for both.

Because life is both.

Yes, our feeds will be filled with hope. Yes, we’ll share the big wins and the tiny ones too. We’ll celebrate progress, and progress that looks like rest. But we’ll also talk about the days we want to quit. The days we feel invisible. The days where joy feels far away.

We just choose not to camp out in that place.

Why We Choose the Bright Side

Because this is our one life.
This is our child’s one life.
And we want to live it eyes wide open—not in denial, but on purpose.

We’ve learned that the moments we remember most aren’t always the mountain-top moments. Sometimes they’re the silly dance in the kitchen after a G-tube change, or the quiet smile from a nurse who knows your story without you having to explain.

We share joy not because it’s easy, but because it’s worth it.

For the Ones in the Mess Right Now

If you’re reading this and the clouds haven’t parted for a while, please know this: you are not doing it wrong. You don’t have to smile through everything. You don’t have to be “positive” to belong here.

But when you are ready—when you want to see things a little differently—we’re here, holding out a piece of lemon cake and a whole lot of grace.

We’ve been there too.
We still go there sometimes.
We just don’t stay there.

You Are Not Alone

Whether you’re deep in a diagnosis, in the middle of a meltdown, or just trying to figure out how to get dinner on the table—we see you.

We’re not therapists.
We’re not influencers.
We’re just moms. Moms who’ve decided to make joy our anchor instead of our afterthought.

So here’s to the bright side.
Here’s to the messy middle.
Here’s to finding beauty—not because everything is perfect, but because we’re still here, still loving, still choosing JOY.

And that’s worth celebrating.

Want more stories like this? Subscribe to our newsletter and check out our book, Finding Joy in the Journey. Because sometimes the best support is simply knowing someone else gets it.

Love you all,

The Lemon Cake Girls